Sep 09
15
The Real Value of News is Zero.
I was reading an article today
and it struck one of my chords. You know the one deep down that makes you sit up say, “Hey, that's right.”
The article talked about the negligible value of news as a
“pay now to read” item.
Think about it. Apart from the rubbernecking value – what
good does it do you to find out that there was an accident on the other side of
the country involving two trucks, a cyclist and a kangaroo?
About the same value as one gets from watching a purple
autumn leaf fall from a tree. Actually, less. The examination of the path of falling autumn leaf leaves one feeling elated compared to watching the average News Broadvcast on TV.
Especially if one recites Mantras until the leaf arrives safely on the ground.
Om…… Om…… Om mani padme hum…… Om……..
News is just entertainment. What value entertainment?
Well that depends on the personal value one allocates to
each minute of ones day. We blogged about the value of Leisure time here. The Leisure time calculator is here – Downloadable spreadsheet)
But if it’s the strong jawed anchorman or the cute
newswomen, hell, Playgirl or Playboy magazine is full of them and you don’t
have to listen to all that sheep programming doom and gloom……
So lets go to the Internet Geeks and see what they think of
news.
P2P Users know a good deal. Free is a good deal. So when
Free is the deal and Free is what Rupert Murdoch is complaining about – one
needs to see what P2P users think of News.
Let me see, this weeks downloads must have a news item
somewhere. Nope. Not one single search request (out of 97 million search
requests since Sunday) for Fox News or anything with the word news in it.
Let’s face it – even when it’s free P2P users don’t want it.
So what does that tell us about the value of News as a paid
for article (a la Murdoch walled garden plan)?
So who actually uses the news?
Well Academic researchers sometimes quote the
newspapers. Oh goody what can we charge
them? Well err nothing. They get it fro free through their University library
cards.
Other TV stations and Newspapers sometimes quote us……
Oh Goody, what can we charge them. Well, nothing – coz we
quote them as well.
OK so who the hell will pay for news? It must be worth
something to someone…….
Nope – Hell even the TV news is second now to Facebook.
I heard of Patrick Swayzes' demise on Facebook two hours before
the Australian media networks published anything.
Ten things you can do that are infinitely more valuable than
watching the news:
(Ladies, this is the boys list….. which is really all I’m
qualified to write – as I’m a boy. If one of you would like to write a girls
list – I will be only too happy to publish it.)
No. 10: Channel Surf
and watch all the adverts, then prepare a price comparison table for your wife
so that the next time she goes shopping she will know which item is the
cheapest to buy. (This benefits your pocket).
No. 9 Download
Emule or Bit-torrent and find a pile of Public Domain Movies to download. This
will reduce the amount of videos the kids will want to rent – if only you can
convince them that the 1929 pre talkies movie of Buston Keaton and the Keystone
cops is better than the Return of Spider Man IV.
No 8. After you have
failed to convince the kids about Buster Keaton – take them to the movies –
they would love it if you surprised them with a movie on a school night……
No 7. Read all those
books you purchased by the yard from the auctioneer so that your friends would
think you were a cultured learned man.
No 6. Take the wife
upstairs for a bit. (Yes even if you’re 70……. Have you heard of Viagra?)
No. 5. Pop down to
the pub/bar and have a couple of jars/drinks with Charley, Sam and Bill. One of
them is sure to have a winning stock pick on which you could make millions.
No. 4. Pop outside
and do some hoops (that’s basketball to you) with the teenager. When was the
last time you did that?
No. 3. Spend half an
hour a day tending bonsai saying Omni Mani Padme Hum – very spiritual.
No. 2. Check the
temperature of the Still to make sure that tomorrow nights after work cocktails
wont taste like yeast.
And the number one thing to do instead of watching
over-sensationalized journalism designed to instill in you absolute fear and
horror of going out into the streets without being escorted by at least a
regiment of marine corp (with M16’s), four stealth fighters overhead, an
armoured bulletproof car and without having to make out your will before hand……
Tune in to Youtube…..
Here’s one that, unlike the
news, will actually cheer you up.
Of course – if you do all of these things instead of
watching the news. You will (if you are currently an average Australian, aged averagely
35 years old….) Save 3,250 hours (to age
60) of rubbernecking time wasting low quality media entertainment to live that
life that is so short and so precious.
That's four and half months of extra living…… and not feeling scared.
Thank-you for reading this article. Now go and get a real
life – you only have a few million seconds left.
References:
Cult of the Amateur
http://andrewkeen.typepad.com/the_great_seduction/2006/10/my_book_now_not.html
ISBN: 9780385520805
The Cult of the Professional
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/4/13/952/10706/140/486004
Big newspaper sites 'erode value of news', says Sly Bailey
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/apr/17/sly-bailey-newspaper-websites-digital-britain